Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Tony Awards: Predicting the Winners Using Just Math - The Hollywood Reporter

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

WCWS Game 1: Texas scores wild win over Texas Tech as Reese Atwood knocks in game-winning runs on failed intentional walk - Yahoo Sports

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I actually pay taxes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

In the TV show Supernatural, why is God portrayed as cruel?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Social Security June payment schedule: Here’s when recipients will get their checks - LiveNOW from FOX

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Do very hot men ever feel attracted to an ugly woman? Why?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

James Hagens’ Islanders homecoming is no longer just a pipe dream - New York Post

I can count

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Alex Cora Takes Blame for Red Sox Woes After Extra Innings Loss - Sports Illustrated

I don’t buy bullshit

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Why do I feel like something bad is going to happen to me?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Can you explain the difference between being a conservative Republican and a liberal Democrat? Can you provide some examples of their ideologies?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand how hurricane paths work

I see through liars

Why am I so tired of the keto diet?

I can read

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have a reading level above third grade

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for traitorism